


through and back again

by haechance



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I cried writing this, Light Angst, M/M, i guess??, just 2 disaster gays tryna survive university, sensitive bitch culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-10-17 15:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17562974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haechance/pseuds/haechance
Summary: And they should have gone to prom together. They should have graduated together. They should have been best friends forever.Unfortunately, things don’t always work out that way.





	1. Chapter 1

There was no other way to put it.

Jaemin and Jeno were joined at the hip.

It was the classic childhood friendship: their moms were friends, which meant they were friends even before they were born. They toddled around together, hitting each other with toys and crying over crackers. They sat together on the first day of school.

_ “Will you be okay?”  _ Jeno’s mother asked worriedly, standing at the school gates. He was a timid kid, tending to hide behind his parents around strangers. This time, though, he beamed up at her.

_ “Don’t worry mom, Jaemin’s with me!” _

They stumbled through middle school together, winding up in all sorts of trouble.

_ “Dude, I mean I appreciate the sentiment, but you did not have to beat up that guy just because he called me a pussy,” Jaemin sighed as Jeno stepped out of the principal’s office. _

_ “So what did you get?” _ _  
_ _ “Nothing! Mr. Park called my parents but my mom just started yelling at him for not dealing with the kid. I mean, he bullies everyone so he had it coming, but dude, I got off with a warning!” Jeno grinned. _

_ “Dude!” _ _  
_ And they  _ should _ have gone to prom together. They  _ should  _ have graduated together. They  _ should  _ have been best friends forever.

Unfortunately, things don’t always work out that way.

 

It was a windy, autumn day in ninth grade when it happened. Jeno remembers it distinctly; the dryness of his lips, the static in the air, and the crunching of the leaves under his feet as he walked to Jaemin’s house. He didn’t even have to knock before the door swung open. 

“Hey, you want cookies? My mom just made some,” Jaemin said with a smile. Jeno almost missed the twinge of something else in his eyes, but he let it drop. They spent the afternoon playing video games, Jaemin getting absolutely decimated in Mario Kart, but both of them breaking down in tears when a neighbor moved out of their town in Animal Crossing. They laid on Jaemin’s bed, staring at the ceiling and talking about anything and everything from Jeno’s dog to the future.

“I don’t know, man. I think going to another country for university would be cool. Only if you come as well though,” Jeno mused. Jaemin paused, before sitting up. 

“Hey, uh…” He began. Jeno sat up as well, raising an eyebrow. Jaemin took a deep breath.

“I’m, uh, I’m moving.”

Jeno stared at him. His heart started rising in his chest.

“Y-You mean- How far?” He stuttered. There was a long, tense silence, Jaemin staring at the floor.

“America,” He whispered.

Cliche as it sounds, time slowed to a stop. Suddenly, the air hung heavy, like thick, black tar clouding Jeno’s vision and filling his lungs. Like he was trying to persuade himself he was okay, he let out a nervous giggle.

“That’s-that’s fine, we can still…” The hopelessness of the situation hit him, and he crumpled over in tears.

“Hey, hey, it’ll be okay. The internet exists! We’ll still be able to talk, and I’ll come back for every holiday!” Jaemin clambered over, putting an arm around him and trying to sound reassuring, despite his own voice trembling. 

“And before I go you can come over every day, and we can go back to our forest hideout, and we can…” Jaemin trailed off as Jeno’s teary eyes met his. 

“How long do we have?”

 

They had a month.

As promised, Jeno went over every day, and they played their video games and chatted on Jaemin’s bed. They struggled their way up into their old treehouse, now slightly worm eaten and probably not structurally sound. They messed around in class like normal, ignoring the elephant in the room. And finally, they sat in the car to the airport together, Jeno weakly clutching Jaemin’s arm, the two of them artificially smiling along with whatever was on the radio. Their wallets were stuffed with polaroids and anything they could hold on to. Jeno clung onto him through check in and up until the security checks. While their parents said their goodbyes, Jaemin pulled him to the side and into a tight, desperate embrace. For the first time that month, a tear escaped Jaemin’s eye, turning into cascades as he dropped his head onto Jeno’s shoulder. His sobs left him shivering, his hands scrunching up Jeno’s shirt. This time, Jeno did his best to stay strong, failing quickly as he burrowed his face into the crook of Jaemin’s neck.

Their closeness felt wrong, like they had broken an unspoken barrier.

But the entire situation felt wrong.

Was this meant to hurt so much?

Jeno’s heart had been kicked, wrung out and driven over with a steamroller in the space of a month which felt simultaneously like just a day to spend with Jaemin, but also a year of dreading the inevitable. He had had friends move away before. He sorely missed them for a while, but shed a few tears at most. He never felt like this. He never felt like his happiness, his very life was being dragged away, stolen from him. 

Then again, he had never lost someone like Jaemin, because there was no one like Jaemin.

He was his happiness, and, as Jeno slowly realised, his life. He felt Jaemin shift in his arms.

“I don’t want to go,” Jaemin said softly.

“I know,” He whispered.

“I wish you could stay.”

Jeno felt another hand on him. His mother gently pulled him back, smiling at him.

“Don’t want them to miss their flight, do we?”

Jeno wanted to protest. Anything for another day, even just a few more hours. But Jaemin’s mother was already walking towards the rows of people moving into the security check. Jeno reached forward to hold Jaemin’s hand one last time. Every fibre of his being was screaming at him to say it. Just three words on the tip of his tongue. Three words that were too late to change anything, but could somehow still change everything.

“Jaemin, I…” His breath caught in his throat. Jaemin’s wet eyes glimmered in the harsh fluorescent lights, impossibly beautiful.

“I…”

_ Say it. _

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” Jaemin smiled. Jeno watched as he was swept through the line, lost in the torrent of people.

His world fell flat and grey around him.

And those three words hanging in his breath lingered, dripping back into his throat as his brain hissed a million  _ what if _ s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please,, feedback,,  
> if you notice a mistake, please tell me!! please tell me anything!! please,, i'm so lonely,,,  
> discuss jaemin's yearbook pictures with me on twt @_lavieennoir_  
> get nothing out of my youtube channel @audinyu


	2. Chapter 2

It was early autumn again.  
“Will you be okay?” Jeno’s mother asked as the bus to the airport began pulling in.  
“I’ll be fine, mom, I only burned myself while trying to cook once so far,” Jeno laughed. She huffed and leaned in for a hug, which he returned.  
“Call us every day, okay? Tell us how your classes go! And send us pictures of what you eat! You’d better not be going to Five Guys every day like you have for the past week.”  
“But mom,” he whined as she pulled her suitcase onto the bus. She looked back.  
“Take care of yourself, Jeno. Love you.”  
“Love you too, mom.”  
She mumbled an _“Oh, my baby’s all grown up,”_ before the doors closed. They waved through the window until the bus hurtled down the road.  
Jeno stood there dumbly for a few moments until it finally hit him.  
“Oh, shit. I’m alone.”  
No one batted an eye at him crying at a Five Guys.  
That’s just how things are at Berklee College of Music.

Jeno had made many bad decisions in his life, but few were worse than deciding upon doing a Monday, 9AM class. On his first day of university, to boot.  
“What do you mean it’s on Massachusetts Avenue? What the hell is public alley 909? Oh my god it’s 8:50. Oh, my god,” He rambled, stumbling through the streets. Tears threatened to fill his eyes as he desperately swiped around on the map on his screen.  
_“Just ask someone,”_ The rational part of his brain begged. But this was Lee Jeno. His mama didn’t raise no little bitch. Instead, she raised a boy with crippling social anxiety. Jeno was gonna find his way with his terrible navigational skills and cracked phone screen if it was the last thing he did, just to avoid talking to any strangers. Hell, he barely talked to his roommate, Renjun, a Chinese student who seemed lovely, but in his defence was just as shy as Jeno.  
“Okay, okay. Right turn. Why do all these buildings look the same? Oh god, I just walked around the same block.”  
Mercifully, a paper sign on a lamppost with an arrow and a smiley face, clearly there for the hopeless new students, lead him to where he needed to be.

At 9:01, he tried to sneak into his classroom by opening the door to the bare minimum to get through, doing that little side shuffle, and praying the class wouldn’t notice him.  
Alas, the door announced his presence with an almighty creak and a theatre of heads turned towards him.  
“Hi, sorry I’m-”  
_“Jeno.”_  
It was no more than a whisper, but it flew across the room like an arrow into his heart, freezing him on the spot. And in the corner of the room, a face that for years glowed as nothing more than embers in his memory, now a burning beacon.  
His heart stopped.  
His breath hung in the air, as if time had slowed down just for this.  
“Jaemin,” He said, softly and plainly. Nothing else came out of his mind. A million memories and emotions trickled then flooded forth, the rational part of his brain just barely stopping them from running down his face.  
Jaemin looked the same to Jeno.  
His hair was still black and hung over his eyes messily. He still swamped himself in oversized hoodies. He had the same kind, shimmery eyes that held the moonlight in the darkness but fire and amber in the sun.  
He was the same person Jeno had fallen in love with all those years ago, before he knew it himself.  
Was he still the same to Jaemin?  
A cough interrupted the silence encompassing them. The professor gestured for Jeno to take a seat.  
He sputtered an apology and slowly went down the wide lecture theatre stairs towards Jaemin, not once taking their eyes off each other.  
The professor had already started talking by the time he reached the seat next to him.  
“Jeno!”  
“Jaemin!”  
Jaemin reached out to grab his hand as he sat down, a mix of confusion and delight on his face. He laughed nervously.  
“We have a lot of catching up to do, don’t we?”  
Jeno nodded, trying to ignore how his heart skipped a beat when Jaemin held his hand.

They had been sitting in Jaemin’s dorm for hours. Jeno nearly started spilling everything, tears included, the second they left the lecture theatre, until Jaemin hushed him.  
_“It’s too early for crying in public, dude.”_  
Jeno was fairly certain that wasn’t the first time Jaemin’s had to say that to him.  
He sat on Jaemin’s bed and listened, a dumb smile on his face as he told him all about his new, exciting life in LA, from his school, to the food, to getting an acceptance letter to his dream college. When he asked how Jeno had been, his mouth dried up.  
“I mean, I never moved anywhere. Nothing much changed since you left, I guess.”  
“Really?” Jaemin asked, a twinge of disappointment in his voice.  
“I mean, nothing around me changed. I still went home at the same time every day, I still avoided principal Park like the plague...”  
“But you changed?”  
Jeno paused.  
“Did I?”  
“You sound older. I mean, I guess that’s meant to happen but… I don’t know. Did anything happen? You look like you’ve seen some shit, man.”  
Jeno looked away. He wasn’t the same to Jaemin, then.  
“Did you ever find another best friend?” He blurted out, instantly regretting it.  
Oh god now he thinks I’m weird and possessive and-  
“Honestly?” Jaemin sighed, falling back onto the bed.  
“I’m not sure. I mean, I made good friends, but… I don’t know. I guess it’s something different, right? You can really only grow up with someone once. The friends you make afterwards can’t really compare. What about you?” He asked, looking towards Jeno.  
“No,” He said instantly. Jaemin sat back up.  
“Did you at least make other friends? I mean, you didn’t really…” He stopped short of saying “you didn’t have anyone but me”.  
“No,” Jeno said softly.  
“I couldn’t move on, Jaemin.” The rational part of him screamed to not risk his friendship just after he had found it again, but he had bottled his feelings up for far too long.  
“I know that sounds weird, but I couldn’t let go of you. Every day, I wondered if you had moved on. I was so scared that you had found someone else, that you were going to forget me. When you stopped sending letters and your texts became less and less frequent, I didn’t want to revive them because I was scared that you really had moved on, and that you were happier without me. I told myself that if you were happy, I should be happy, but I couldn’t be.” Tears began stinging his eyes, which he wiped away indignantly.  
“Jeno, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t want to move away, and of course I wouldn’t forget you!” Jaemin said, trying to salvage the situation as he moved to sit next to him.  
“I never knew it was that bad for you. You could have told me, you know,” He hummed.  
“No, I- It shouldn’t have been that bad. It wouldn’t have been, but I…” Jaemin turned to look at him. The same look he gave him at the airport all those years ago.  
_I fell in love with you._  
 _I fell in love with you, and I never fell out of it._  
The words never came out. Tears did instead.  
Saying nothing, Jaemin pulled Jeno into a hug. Not patting him or rubbing circles into his back, just holding him.  
It felt so right.  
And just for that moment, Jeno pretended that it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stop making jeno cry challenge: failed  
> this is turning into a messy writing practice I'll wrap it up next chapter I SWEAR  
> also if anyone points out a mistake or gives feedback i will. burst into happy tears  
> discuss haechans cheeks w me on twt @_lavieennoir_  
> wonder why I exist on youtube @audinyu


	3. Chapter 3

Jeno always hated parties.

Well, he had never been to one before now, but he knew he would hate them, and he was right. From the damp, stifling air, to the drunken, raucous yelling and laughter, to the sweaty bodies falling into him, Jeno knew that he would never do this again. He wedged himself into a corner, giving up on trying to not look awkward. An empty red solo cup lingered in his hands. He eyed the exit anxiously, gauging how difficult it would be to shove and stumble past the throngs of tightly packed people to sweet, sweet freedom. His desperate eyes scouted one gap after another until, in the darkness of the room, he had found his path. He could escape!

Unfortunately, there was one more thing to take into account.

Sighing, Jeno raised his head, scanning for Jaemin- the only reason he came- in the crowd. 

_ “Dude, it’s part of the college experience! You have to come just once,” _ Jaemin had whined. And who was Jeno if not a sucker for Jaemin? It took only a few seconds for Jeno to catch a glimpse of brown hair and an absolutely obscene crop top/ fishnets combination. They had both nearly choked at the sight of each other’s outfits, but for very different reasons.

_ “Oh my god, man. This is a frat house party, you are not wearing that,” _ Jaemin had scorned. They had been getting ready at his dorm, since Jaemin had a hair curler and, in Jeno’s opinion, an incredibly unnecessary crate of makeup which he was eager to use on both of them. It took all of his effort for Jeno to tear his eyes off Jaemin’s bare midriff to smooth over his button down shirt and black jeans.

_ “At least just…”  _ Jaemin stepped forwards, unbuttoning the top few buttons on Jeno’s shirt. He didn’t seem to notice the blush spreading on Jeno’s cheeks before whisking him off to some frat house. The places Jaemin touched him through his shirt burned into Jeno’s skin the whole way there.

 

Jeno didn’t even try yelling Jaemin’s name, knowing he wouldn’t hear him. He took a deep breath before plunging into the sea of people towards his anchor. 

But just when Jaemin was within arm’s reach, a flurry of hot pink and blonde hair spun in front of Jeno and pulled Jaemin back, who complied with a smirk. He hadn’t noticed his best friend standing a meter away before disappearing behind a short dress and cherry lips. Jeno felt bile rise in his throat. His first instinct was to run. Out of the stifling room, into the bitter air and all the way back home to bury himself in his sheets, or his homework, or anything to take his mind off what he just saw. He pulled himself back to reality. Jaemin might be worried if he just disappeared by himself, he thought. He tried not to wonder if Jaemin would have even noticed that he had left.

Steeling himself again, he drove forwards until he could see Jaemin’s face. He flashed in and out of view in the changing lights and of course, behind the girl he was with. Put simply, he looked drunk out of his mind. His normally bright eyes were unfocused, lids heavy as he danced slightly offbeat. 

“Jaem? Jaemin,” Jeno began, tapping his shoulder as the girl gave him a dirty look.

“Oh, Jeno!” He slurred, swaying as he turned around to face him.

“Why’re you so stiff lookin’? You haven’t had enough to drink,” He drawled, leading Jeno by the wrist towards the kitchen, the girl abandoned. He ignored the tingling in his wrist in favor of steadying Jaemin as he stumbled over air.

“Well, you clearly have,” Jeno sighed, pulling a protesting Jaemin towards the door.

“Look, I was gonna tell you that I was leaving, but I don’t trust you on your own so we’re both going.”

“But Jeno~”

He almost fell for Jaemin’s puppy eyes and pout, but he focused on not falling down the stairs instead, with Jaemin’s arm slung around his shoulder.

What should have been a five minute walk took what felt like hours. Jeno was prepared to deal with Jaemin tripping, throwing up, and anything that might come out of his mouth. But he wasn’t prepared for Jaemin to cling onto his arm, pressing his whole body to Jeno’s side, and breathing against his ear. At the first snake of Jaemin’s hand into his own, Jeno’s mind blanked. Rationally, he knew it meant nothing. He was drunk, for god’s sake. 

But he couldn’t help but notice how warm he was against his own, cold skin, and just how  _ nice _ it felt. Against his better judgement, Jeno held his hand back, and didn’t push him off when he crept closer and closer.

_ Just this once.  _

Just this once, he could act like everything was meant to be, and Jaemin wouldn’t remember it the next day.

Finally, they fell into Jaemin’s dorm, the keys in Jeno’s hand.

“Right, you think you can take care of yourself?” Jeno asked, reluctantly detaching Jaemin from his arm. He hummed as if he were actually thinking of an answer, before sliding down to sit on the floor and holding onto Jeno’s legs instead.

“Oh for- I take that as a no then? Come on, let’s get you into bed,” Jeno sighed, leaning down to hoist Jaemin back up. He slumped forwards, eyes closed, arms around Jeno’s neck. Having to ignore the butterflies in his stomach again, Jeno lifted him up off the ground slightly to totter over to Jaemin’s bed. He placed him down as gently as he could and peeled Jaemin off him again. He was still in his party clothes, and his shirt had ridden up even more. But helping him change would be too far, so Jeno looked away, pulled down his shirt, and tucked him into bed the best he could. Jaemin looked pretty unconscious already. He slipped out to get a glass of water and an aspirin to leave on Jaemin’s nightstand for the hangover he was sure to have in the morning. Turning on the bathroom light, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. The concealer covering his eyebags had rubbed off, and in the icy blue bathroom light, he never looked more haggard. Quickly, Jeno opened the medicine cabinet, found what he needed, and got out. Back in Jaemin’s room, he quietly placed the cup and the pull on the nightstand, and looked back at Jaemin’s sleeping form. His hair was mussed up, his mouth hanging slightly open. 

Jeno couldn’t help but stare.

There’s no way Jaemin would remember anything in the morning. In a way, Jeno wanted him to. Even if that meant being embarrassed in the morning, Jeno wanted Jaemin to at least remember that he cared. Through all the exams and girls he might go through, all he wanted was for Jaemin to know that he had someone to turn to.

He knew that wouldn’t happen tonight, so he moved to turn off the lamp on his bedside table.

“Don’t go.”

It was barely a whisper, but Jeno heard it loud and clear. He turned back to see Jaemin’s eyes barely open, but gazing at him dreamily.

“Don’t go,” He said again. He reached out to hold Jeno’s arm.

“Please. I want you to stay.”

Jeno’s heart jumped at the words, but he knew this had gone too far.

“Why? Is something wrong?” He responded, trying to keep his voice level.

“Does there have to be? Come on, just get in with me,” Jaemin giggled, toying with Jeno’s fingers. He pulled his hand away.   
“Jaemin, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I just…”

_ Oh, fuck it. He won’t remember it anyway. _

“Jaemin, I can’t spend the night with you, knowing it means nothing to you but everything to me! Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of doing this? How long I’ve dreamed of being with you? But I knew that could never happen, and I can’t fool myself into thinking it will, by spending more time with you! This… situation has hurt me enough, Jaemin, and I can’t let it hurt me even more tomorrow morning.”

Jeno shuddered as the last few words flew out of his mouth. He couldn’t even tell if Jaemin was listening to him, but the words were out, and there was no taking them back. There was silence, and just as he took a deep breath to calm himself down and reached for the light switch again,

“What do you mean?”   
_ This is it. _

“I love you, Jaemin! I’m in love with your dumb ass, who goes and gets themself drunk, dances with a girl, and leaves me to handle your drunk ass while you make my heart do things without either of us meaning for it to! And this- This is wrong. I can’t do things that only couples do with you, because both of us are going to regret it in the morning. And Jaemin? I need to get over you.”

He paused to gather himself. His chest tightened and tears were welling up in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I love you more than anything else, but I can’t anymore. For my own sake, I can’t.”

Jaemin’s eyes had drifted away from him. Jeno didn’t know if Jaemin had spaced out, or if he was actually processing what he said, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to know. He just had to get it out.

The light flicked off. Without looking back, Jeno strode towards the door, head held high as he brushed his tears away, grabbed the doorknob so hard his knuckles turned white-

And closed it softly behind him.

 

The morning was working so hard to be lovely. Light came through Jeno’s window at just the right angle to dance across his desk and scatter through his empty glass. It was delicately quiet, the only sound being the occasional passing of a car and the chattering of the birds.

Unfortunately, Jeno had a crippling headache that couldn’t have been any worse even if he did drink all his sorrows away the night before. He was starting to regret not doing so.

He was regretting everything, really. He regretted interrupting Jaemin and the girl. He regretted letting Jaemin hold his hand on the way back. He regretted ever opening his mouth last night. Worst of all, a tiny part of him regretted not giving in, and staying with Jaemin. His phone buzzed, startling him. It was from Jaemin. Such is Jeno’s luck.

_ “Yo im VERY hungover but ty for leaving the water and making sure i didnt get murdered on the way home :)))” _

Jeno’s fingers hovered above the screen. Should he act like nothing happened? Like everything was fine? Clearly, if Jaemin was acting like nothing happened, then everything was fine. As far as anyone was concerned, Jeno definitely hadn’t confessed to his drunk best friend the night before.

_ “Dw abt it lmao,”  _ he typed. He wasn’t going to ask if he needed any help. Jaemin could handle himself.

_ “U did leave ur wallet here tho!!! I’d bring it to u but i am in. no shape to leave my room even tho ur like. Just down the hall” _

Jeno looked up and around. He had, indeed, left his wallet.

_ Oh, fuck. _

 

Gingerly, he knocked on Jaemin’s door, knowing harsh noises could make both of their headaches worse. After a few seconds of shuffling, the door creaked open.

“Hi,” Jaemin croaked with a tired smile. 

“Your wallet’s just… uh…” His eyes darted around the room for it.

“Oh, I see it,” Jeno said, gently pushing past Jaemin, into his dorm to grab his wallet off the shelf.

“Fuck, my head hurts,” Jaemin sighed as he collapsed on the sofa. 

“I must have been super drunk last night, sorry for making you deal with me.”

Jeno turned towards him.

“It’s fine, but…” His curiosity was killing him.

“Do you remember anything from last night? You were pretty drunk,” He said, trying to sound casual. Jaemin thought for a moment.

“I mean, I remember fixing your shirt because you looked too nerdy, and I vaguely remember tripping a lot, and…” He trailed off. Suddenly, he lifted his head and stared fixedly at Jeno.

“Jeno, did you mean what you said last night?”

**_Oh, Fuck._ **

Jeno felt his cheeks heating up, and he scrambled to find something to say. Jaemin sat up and shuffled to the side.

“Come sit down.”

On shaky legs, he slowly walked over and sat on the sofa, crumpling himself into a little ball in the corner and staring at the floor.

“I’ll ask you again,” Jaemin began, slowly.

“Did you mean what you said last night?”

Jeno was too scared to see the look on his face. Would it be one of genuine interest? Or would it be disgust?

“I…I mean…” He stammered. Stumbling over his own breaths, his voice cracked and tears began to gather in his eyes. He let out a distraught sob and buried his face in his arms.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I didn’t mean it that way,” Jaemin said quickly, clambering over. Jeno couldn’t see, but Jaemin lifted an arm to wrap around him, which he lowered after a moment of hesitation. 

“I know how difficult it must have been for you to say all that to me, and I just want to make it clear that I’ll never judge you for it, okay? I just want to sort things out.”

“Don’t you find me weird, or gross now? Wouldn’t you want to stay away from me?” Jeno whimpered, without lifting his head.

“You know I would never. But Jeno, we need to talk about this. If it makes it easier for you, I’ve been thinking about it as well.”

Jeno turned his head towards Jeno, but only caught a quick glance at him before looking back down.

“Thinking about what?” He asked.

“I don’t know exactly. But, when I left Korea all those years ago, I felt like something had been taken out of me. I put it down to missing the food, or the rest of my family, but I realised that I was missing you. But not in, like, a friend way. None of the friends I made afterwards ever made me feel the way you do, and I only noticed that when I met you again, here. Finding you again made me realise that you were- you are something different, Jeno. You know I was never very superstitious, but I think this was fate.”

He reached over to cradle Jeno’s fingers with both hands.

“I think, for the longest time, we’ve felt the same way about each other.”

The two of them fell silent, the magnitude of Jaemin’s words sinking into both of them. Honestly, Jeno’s heart was leaping in his chest. This was what he had waited his whole life for, and yet it still felt like too much, too soon.

“Are you sure?” He said softly, looking up at Jaemin’s solemn face. Noticing that Jeno was finally making eye contact with him, he smiled.

“As sure as you are. So, coffee after class tomorrow?”

“Jaemin,” Jeno whined, not sure if his voice shook with a giggle or a sob as he collapsed into Jaemin’s open arms. Jaemin let him stay for a moment, before tapping on his shoulder. Jeno lifted his head up, their faces glaringly close. Gently, Jaemin tilted Jeno’s head up, eyes gleaming with joy, and something else. 

Love.

“Can I?” He whispered. Jeno nodded.

Their lips touched. Jeno’s body filled with warmth.

“I love you, Jeno.”

“I love you too.”

Those three words never felt so right.

And finally, they truly were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that took 35 years lmao  
> feedback,,, blease,,, also not beta read so if u find mistakes bleASE,,,  
> btw thanks for all the kudos?? im shooketh  
> i think i will,,, upload this on tumblr as well??? although i am boycotting them since the nsfw ban  
> discuss jeno's thot jeans with me on twt @_lavieennoir_  
> waste ur time on my youtube channel @audinyu


End file.
